Short Stories

Ultimate Pot

Allen Hovland was a predictable man and always had been he was a little boy. He went to school on a regular basis, maintained a C+ average, and wasn’t one for sports, more into chess club and playing the piano. He listened to his mother when she told him to brush his teeth and take a bath. He always listened to what his mother told him and he made it through life nice and simple. When he was 18 he graduated from high school with all the other kids his age and went to college. When he was 22 he met his wife and they got married. When they finished college together, Allen got a job as a kindergarten teacher and his wife got a job working for a high school class. They had a child 3 years later, whom they sent to boarding school shortly after Allen found out his wife had cancer. Allen was left in a pickle, since his happy life was changed to a sad and unpredictable rollercoaster.

With all that had happened, it wasn’t expected that there would be new changes that would happen next in Allen’s short and predictable life. Allen had no idea what to do now that he was no longer young. His life was so predictable before but now it wasn’t.  He had no choice when it came to his next step in life, that involved take his wife to her appointments and therapy sessions. There seemed no way out of this spiralling down lifestyle, and he wanted an answer of what way he should go next. Then from somewhere in the sky a flyer flew onto his feet and he saw an ad for a support group for spouses who were going through the same thing. The doctor had told Allen before to go looking for a support group. He took this as a sign and planned to go to the meeting on his next available night which happened to be a Thursday night.

Allen called up his wife’s friends early on that Thursday and invited them over to have a nice shindig and watch over his wife while he went to this meeting. The wife’s friends arrived right in time, for him to get ready and go to this support group. When all her friends arrived and all the questions were met Allen went off to his meeting in hopes things would be good while he was gone. He got into his car and put on some hits from the 70’s the music his mother used to listen too. He liked the oldies when he was nervous or going to try new things, though usually the two fell under the same category. Allen drove off, heading downtown to the street, hoping to find the building on the first try so he doesn’t have to drive around the block a few times.  With luck on his side he found the building and a parking spot upfront. Allen thought to himself that luck was on his side.

The night streets of downtown were a different place. Some might compare it to the difference between the stages of a family’s new guard dog, with the city being the family and the people being the dogs. When the day is young the people are vibrant, excited and full of life much like that of a young puppy coming to his home for the first time. But when the night falls, that’s a totally different story. The dog is full grown now and is ready to defend its master, and not always in a conventional way. This is one of the lessons that Allen was about to learn.  Allen got out of his car and went to the door of the building. To his surprise, the door was locked. Allen didn’t bother to think that maybe there was another door to enter the building for the meeting like the flyer said, but he wouldn’t have known that because he didn’t bother to read the full ad anyway.

From the alleyway next to the building a short woman whiten the shadows of the night with dark brown hair and a baseball cap emerged from the alleyway was standing, decided and called Allen over. Allen was worried, not knowing what to expect but hoping that this was in some way connected to the support group that seems to be non-existent. By this time Allen was upset and scared and had no idea what path to travel on, but he never could say no to a woman and followed her around the alley where he was met by two thugs,  who then turned to the girl and talked in their street business code. Allen then got even more worried. He knew then that he was just about to feel the bite of the night time street, and this was the bark.

A third thug came forth from the shadows and started yelling at the girl and the thugs something about this not being the guy that they were waiting for, and that the guy knew who they were waiting for because he had met the man at the hardware store two days before. The four of them huddled and talked about what to do about Allen. They thought about it for a minute, then the man they were waiting for showed up. The man told them to back off from Allen, that their fight was not with Allen, and that if Allen had no idea what is going on to let him go. The head thug was not impressed that some guy he met at a hardware store was telling him what to do and how to run his business. The head thug then pulled out a pocket knife and pointed it at Allen and told the rest to back off. The thugs didn’t think they should listen to some hardware store man’s opinion.  Allen’s memory became foggy. After this all he could remember was after he woke up was that he was in his car passenger side with the hardware man driving.

Allen turned to the hardware man and asked him about what had happened and the man told him, “The less you know the better.” So, Allen kept his mouth shut and was thankful to be alive. Still upset about the support group was not there, he thought he would just call them in the morning and ask for more info. Allen then saw the hardware man light up a joint. Allen wasn’t impressed and explained that this was a non smoking car. The hardware man told him in a stern voice that he was driving and not Allen, and that the less Allen spoke now the better. Then the hardware man told him that his name was Josh and asked for direction to Allen’s place so he could drive him home.

It was a long trip home for Allen. Sure, it was only a twenty minute drive from his home to downtown, but the way Josh drove it took about another two hours. It wasn’t because Josh was driving slow, it was because he had about 10 places to stop at before he left the downtown area. Josh was a very fast driver in and out of the city, but it was because he knew the roads and was actually a very safe driver. His driving record was bad only because others didn’t share his point of view on the subject. Josh would drive so fast on the highway it impressed some people a lot; he had a history of making a forty-five minute trip in fifteen minutes. With the trip taking so long, it gave Allen and Josh some time to exchange small talk.

When they were for sure leaving the downtown area and going to Allen’s home, Josh took the new joint he had in his mouth and offered it to Allen. Allen had never done any form of drugs in his life and didn’t believe in the use of them. He wasn’t going to start today no matter how tempting it may have seemed. Josh was very surprised that Allen had never done drugs in his life. The only people Josh had met that had never done drugs was his parents, and even that was questionable. Allen didn’t like that Josh was smoking pot in his car, but he thought since Josh probably saved his life he wouldn’t bother him about the pot for a little while.

When Josh drove up to Allen’s house. Allen thanked Josh for all he had done and invited him into his house for coffee and food. Josh kindly accepted and followed Allen into the house where he met Allen’s wife and the wife’s friends. Josh liked a few and hit on them a bit in a joking matter. The women were surprised at how a mature looking thirty-two year old man was still using jokes and pick-up lines like a twenty-four year old. Eventually, Josh did get one of the girls’ numbers. Allen made a late dinner and they all sat around. When dinner was done, Josh got a ride with one of the girls and they all left together.

That night Allen had a dream about Josh and the pot. In the dream a black cooking pot appeared and the marijuana hopped into the cooking pot and grew till the cooking pot could not hold it any longer. Then the marijuana exploded out of the cooking pot for as far as the eyes could see. Then Josh appeared looking in surprise and joy, rolling and tossing the pot all into the air. He smoked a few joints till he was good and stoned and then, in the dark, a creepy voice that was not his own started to speak. He looked at Allen and said, “Thanks, this is exactly what I needed.” Then Josh’s face turned into a skull and grew till it was big enough to swallow Allen whole.

Allen awoke from his dream, huffing and puffing, freaked out. He had no idea what that dream meant, but he hoped it was a good thing because if what to come was worse than the dream he just had, he didn’t know what to do. Allen couldn’t sleep for the rest of the night.

The next day Allen called the support group’s number and asked what happened to the meeting last night. The leader of the group said there was a meeting but you’re supposed to enter thou the door on the side, opposite to the side where he had met Josh. Allen was relieved to find out that the support group was not a hoax and he then agreed to meet them next Thursday. This time there would be a sign out for all to see. Allen was happy now, and this time he just knew things would work out okay.

Allen was bored and getting lonely. He needed someone to talk to, so he called Josh. He wanted to make sure Josh got home safely last night, and maybe they could talk and become friends. Josh was very surprised that someone wanted to be his friend, especially someone like Allen. There was nothing wrong with Allen and Josh being friends, it was just that they came from two different worlds. Allen’s quite predictable life and Josh’s were quite different. Josh’s life never made sense to him, he just knew to keep going because he had no other way to get out of it. His life was full of pot, the streets, gang fights and prison. Josh was a kind guy, but he was born on the wrong side of the tracks. Not just wrong as in the unsafe side, but wrong as in the wrong side for him. Josh did need a friend, as did Allen. So Josh accepted Allen’s invitation to be his friend, and Allen became Josh’s first real friend.

The two men talked for a few hours on the phone. They enjoyed getting to know each other a bit more. Allen decided before they got off the phone to make the next step in their relationship and asked if Josh would like to go get a few drinks at a nearby bar. Josh only drank beer on very rare occasions but he took the offer anyway. After all, bars don’t just serve alcoholic beverages. Allen was happy to have a friend now. He had someone to tell his pain to and get his mind off the troubles at home. Allen and Josh both looked forward to this new found friendship and hoped for the best.

The next few days for Allen were very long, with taking care of his wife and trying to stay on top of his job. He hated taking his wife to her doctor appointments as it was very depressing for him, and he hated to see his wife who he loved for so many years in pain now. All Allen could do was pray and hope things worked out for the best, because he couldn’t imagine life without her.  Allen wished there was a cure, but sadly there wasn’t one yet. All he could hope for was his wife’s cancer got better and for all of this to be over soon.

The night soon came when Allen and Josh would go out. In the evening, before nightfall, Josh came and picked Allen up in his new black 4×4. Josh took Allen to the local pool hall where they played a few rounds of pool and had a few drinks of soda. They talked and relaxed together, this was something they both needed. During the time they spent at the pool hall they talked about work and their current and childhood lives. As much as Allen was surprised to hear about Josh’s world that was full of neglect, bad grades, multiple cities and pot, Josh was just as surprised to hear about Allen’s loving family, college, good grades and no pot or drugs what so ever. Josh was amazed there was actually someone who had never tried pot before. Josh knew of people who tried it a few times, didn’t like and only did it on occasion, but for someone who never tried it the thought just blew his mind. Later. when they left the bar, Josh thought the only nice thing he could really do was offer Allen some pot, just to try. Allen turned him down not to be mean, but because he was nervous and wasn’t sure if he should. Josh understood and didn’t really care if Allen said yes or no to the toke. Allen decided to tell Josh about his dream he had. Josh laughed and said dreams don’t mean anything, then he asked him if he was sure he had never done any drugs before. Allen just laughed at the remark and didn’t mention it again.

On the way driving home Allen and Josh were tired and their conversation started to get thin, so Josh thought it would be fun to tell Allen a story that he heard of years ago called “ultimate Pot”.

There is an old story that says when the moon hits three-quarters at the end of the month, when the earth’s balance is thrown off by a star ship’s rock, there will be a red sky and it will get slightly warmer on the earth. A rogue man from a long forgotten culture well receive the last ingredient to make the soil just right so he can plant the last two seeds of the best marijuana left in the world. These seeds were of the five mother plants that were here when the world was formed, and were believed to be all smoked up. The reason the seeds can’t be planted just anywhere is because when the world was new, its element was different and this blend of marijuana needs a very delicate lighting and rare soil that is no longer allowed to be used. But once the plant’s first buds show, you can grow it anywhere.

The story kind of creeped Allen out, but then again he knew nothing of that world and how any of that stuff worked; he barely knew marijuana was a plant. He thought marijuana was just a thing that appeared out of nowhere, probably made somewhere and then sold on the streets. It was not something he thought would grow on a plant and when the plant was ready you would have to pick and groom the plant down to get the good stuff. So for Allen, hanging out with Josh was turning out to be an educational experience. Not the kind of education you’d ever learn in a school or textbook, but the kind that is the most famous and well known. The kind that has saved and preserved many things in history. That is the method storytelling, and that is how a lot of knowledge is spread.

As they arrived at Allen’s house, he thanked Josh for the night out. Josh wasn’t the kind of guy who was used to compliments, so he just brushed it off and drove on home. Allen took his coat off and gave his wife her night time meds, and he told her how his night was. Allen always told his wife everything he did and so did she; they had a good marriage when it came to communication. He always tried to be a really good husband, because he loved his wife and only wanted the best for her.

Allen had a hard time sleeping that night. He couldn’t stop thinking about the story that Josh told him. He wondered how true the story was or if it was just a pothead dream. The story of the ultimate pot did catch his interest. He hoped that if the story was true, it would happen soon so his friend could have all the pot he wanted.  Josh didn’t fall asleep until he was too tired to keep his eyes open. It was more like he passed out then fell asleep.

The next day after work, Allen went over to Josh’s house. Josh was on the phone. Allen wanted to explain to Josh that he was having a bad day. He waited patiently for the Josh to be done with his call. Josh called them up and told them that he paid extra last month because he knew he would not be working for the winter. The phone company noticed the mistake and said that they noticed there was a credit on his account and mailed him a check for the credit so they didn’t use it for this month’s payment. Josh was so mad at them, he said some crude words and hung up the phone. Josh also was not having a good day. His car broke down and his pot dealer ripped him off and gave him crap stuff on top of that. If he would have known the phone company was going to do that to him he would have taken at least some or all of the money he spent on pot and used it on his phone bill. Allen felt bad and would have offered him the money to pay for his phone bill, but his wife was just put on new meds so he didn’t have any extra cash this month. So he did the thing any good friend would do instead and he offered him to use his phone until this whole mess was over with. Josh was nervous and unsure if he should, but he did have important people he needed to call so he agreed.

Allen felt bad when Josh told him about his dealer ripping him off. It made Allen feel like he needed to help him. Since Josh wouldn’t tell him where his dealer lived, so Allen went looking for the next best thing. He went out looking for a new dealer for better quality pot. But the next thing was where in the world you would go to find a pot dealer. He worked at an elementary school, so it wasn’t like he could ask one of the kids for a connection. Even if he could, it would not be ethical for a teacher to ask a student for pot. So he did the next idea that came into his head: go to the bookstore and look for any books about pot, or drug addict’s books. He thought if he could find a story about a drug addict or a recovering addict, he could see where they say they got their fix.

The next thing that happened to Allen was quite unexpected to him but predictable for others. He went to the counter with his stack of five books. Then guy at the counter rang up his books, though looking at the titles he laughed and asked him if he was trying to start a grow house or something.  Allen had no idea what he was talking about. He just wanted these books and to get out. It didn’t take the guy long to realize that Allen had no idea what he was doing so he asked the next big question: ‘so you looking to buy pot?’

Allen was shocked at the guy’s bluntness and froze for a second. The guy laughed and told him then that his name was Steven and told him that if he wanted some pot he could go on coffee break and sell him some for a discounted rate. Allen was surprised and decided not to take any and told him it was for a friend and that he would talk it over with him before he came back. The guy laughed and he then said ‘it’s always for a friend.’ Allen then tensed up and paid for his book and left.

He wanted to help out Josh and help him be happy, not because he supported his lifestyle but because he couldn’t help his wife. Allen felt helpless when it came to helping his wife with her cancer and all he wanted to do was make her happy, but that was getting harder and harder to do as the cancer inside her spread. So he thought if he couldn’t keep his wife happy, he could at least keep Josh, someone else who was close to him, happy. Even though he met Josh only a few weeks ago, he had become the closest friend Allen had in years.

Yes, Allen did have friends, but they were mostly other teachers he knew at work. He didn’t mean to keep his personal and business life separate, it just seemed to fall that way. He liked having friends; they kept him distracted from the stress of the world at that time. He would hang out now with Josh once or twice a week, even though he did see Josh every day. He and his wife saw Josh at least once a day, but that was to use the phone and that was going to stop in about a week, when the phone company reconnected him. Allen and his wife liked having Josh around. He was a very pleasant man.

It took Allen a few days to get the courage to tell Josh about what had happened at the bookstore. Josh was surprised Allen would think of something like that. He was impressed that Allen thought so highly of him as a friend to think of helping him get some new pot. Josh didn’t want to be rude, so he asked where this new dealer was. He told Josh all the info he knew about the bookstore guy. Josh thought about it for a moment and then he looked at Allen and smiled. He explained that he had met Steven before, that he had crap stuff, and that it wasn’t anywhere near as good as the stuff he was already getting that was crap. Allen laughed and felt better now for walking out on the guy.

The following day there was a sighting of a comet heading straight for Earth. The scientists were worried that if this comet hit the Earth it would throw off the balance of the planet and increase the effects of global warming. They spent a few days working on the plans of how to stop it from hitting the Earth. They thought of one plan to stop the comet and that was to build a rocket and aim it at the comet, knocking it off course and saving Earth. The government liked the idea but they didn’t like the price and refused to pay, saying that they don’t care, and that the global warming effects are not going to get that bad. So the scientists opened their ideas up to the public asking, for donations. They had 3 weeks to get this rocket built and sent up into space. The amount of money that came from the people of the world was countless and the rocket was going to be built without any problems.

Allen and Josh heard about the comet and both thought it was stupid and didn’t care. All Josh hoped was that if the comet did hit the Earth, it wouldn’t interfere with his new job coming up. He managed to get hired in the potash mine bulldozing, and the comet was set to hit the Earth the same day as he would be going to work. It was a far away job, so Josh would be saying goodbye to Allen for about six months before heading back to his place. When he told Allen this he was upset for a few days, but he did know that this was going to happen one day and was happy Josh was finally going out to do something he loved.

The days went by slowly; the rocket was almost complete, and Josh was doing last minute things. It was the third week of the month and Josh was still using the phone at Allen’s house. Even though it was last month he started using Allen’s phone and the phone company issues were all cleared up. when Josh got the job offer he decided to pay the remaining balance that needed to be paid and just disconnected his. He was really enjoying hanging out with Allen, and he was glad to have a true friend for once in his life. Even if things weren’t going good for Allen and his wife, these past months were probably the best in Allen’s and Josh’s life.

The day finally came where Josh was leaving to go to work. Allen and his wife said their goodbyes to Josh and hoped all went and that they would see him again in 6 months. The day Josh was leaving also happened to be the day the rocket to save the earth from extreme global warming was being launched. When it was time, Josh got into his truck and drove off. He tried to get a hold of his dealer before he left the city because he forgot to refill his pot before he was leaving, and he wasn’t sure if he would get a pot connection where he was going. He had been cutting back on pot now that he had friends. Somehow Allen distracted him. Josh couldn’t get a hold of his dealer and was pissed. He didn’t want to leave the city without anything. So he decided to go to the bookstore and see if that guy Steven was working. In this case crap pot was better than no pot. He went into the bookstore and Steven was working. Luckily he asked him about buying some pot and he took Josh out back saying that he had the best stuff in town.

Later on, the rocket was launched and all was set to go according to plan. For some reason though, the rocket just lightly hit the comet, aiming the comet more towards Earth and sending the rocket into the moon. This threw the whole Earth off balance and somehow the global warming was avoided,but instead the Earth was in for an extreme global cooling. The earth was still warm but everything was colder by about three degrees and the ice caps were coming back. With the elements off balance, the planets were off; for the first time in recorded history the earth hit a three quarter moon on the last day of the month. But not everything about the earth’s new pattern affected the climate it also healed most of the cancer patients, including Allen’s wife.

Over the next few weeks, the climate change helped in some way and not in others. For example, the marijuana plants started to grow more. They grew so much soon that cities all over were overflowing with pot. There was so much pot the cops and the government could not stop or even control it anymore. The cops tried their hardest to find the source but every lead they got was a dead end, untill one night they got an anonymous tip.

The cops took the tip they had gotten, and went to the location they were given. The place looked like it was an old abandoned house from the outside. When the cops entered the house, they couldn’t believe it was the same house. The house was modern, up to date, and very clean. There was not a speck of dirt anywhere. The cops searched the house and looked up and down, They were about to give up their search until one of the cops noticed a loose floorboard. They lifted the boards and saw a ladder going into a dirt basement of some sort. The cops went down and found a table covered in bags of marijuana and scales. One cop went searching around the rest of the rooms in the dugout basement. Even though there was everything else they would normally find in a grow house, they couldn’t find any plants until one cop went in further and found what he thought was a person sitting in a chair, waiting to be found. The cop grasped his gun and pulled the string on the light. To his horror it was a person, but they weren’t waiting. They were dead and the source of all the pot. With a closer look it turned out that where this man use to have hands and feet there were now bunches of Mary Jane and the same with his eyes and mouth. The cop soon called all the other cops to the room, where they were mortified at what they saw.

They called for backup and called the coroner to help with the removal of the body. They did an autopsy to investigate. It was determined that the plants were in fact growing out of his body and roots were intact within it. It took a long time before they figured out who the body was. It turned out that the remains were of no other then one Josh Hoffman.

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